Get the Funk out…

I'm really not in a good place right now.

Points:
1. I'm work for employers who do not appreciate the things I do, nor respect the individual I am.
2. I live in a country where my rights as a human being, specifically a non-white male, increasingly make me a second class citizen.
3. The two above are related as, point 2 drives point 1, since my employers, are white males not interested in diversity, all of whom elected the current president, who makes the environment of bigotry, more palatable for formerly latent racists.

I love the people I work with; these are exceptional people who routinely make the unlikely, possible, and in that vein, this is where I must give credit to our leadership. The life with my current employer is dynamic, vibrant and engaging.. There are always problems to solve, there are always reasons to assess, there is always dynamic business progress.

But, why the fuck must it be a white guy who steps in to get the credit, for my efforts, after I've solved a problem and have processes in place to make management of former problems, routine? Almost 7 years of this shit, is exhausting.

Yes I love the challenge, but at some point in time, say fucking thank you, and promote. At some point, promote the woman who helped build your company, versus creating the atmosphere for her to leave. At some point, recognize the few non whites, who always have the answers the new "in the circle" whites need to move forward……once again.

I hate writing this, because I try to not let issues of discrimination impact my assessment of others, or my approach to others. Because in my opinion, the reason why racism is a thing, is not because we as diverse human beings cannot collaborate to build better; rather, racism exists because we the diverse human beings of this American culture have allowed (mainly conservative, but also liberal) agencies to create a narrative of us, versus them, and I emphatically want to change that.

But at my personal progression? What does that say about me? And if I stay, will I not become the "monster" they are afraid of, to validate their biases? This is the catch-22 people like me face, when we quietly work against obstinate racism.

How soon did I realize that I wasn't their "preferred" type? Within one month, but, silly me, I opted to demonstrate their perception of different is wrong, and every human being once they see one contradiction, must acknowledge the potential flaws of their bigotry.

Silly fucking me.

So once again, I find myself at the crux of exit, because I see no opportunity for my individual progression.  This is the 4th such incident in 6.5 years. The problem now is, how much better will it be if I jump ship to help someone else out?

With the Trump era, optimism is dead for the awakened citizen, and maybe, that's the point of the Trump administration; if you aren't a white male, do not apply for the American dream.